The Killer

"What? The noose? Why? What did I do?" asked Prabhu.

"Shhhh! Just do it", I said "and don't ask me foolish questions".

"Why? I am not your toy. You owe me an explanation."

"I owe you jackshit! Go on. The noose is waiting", I said impatiently.

"Come on, everything I did, I did because you asked me to".

"Oh! So suddenly you have no agency? You want a reason? Here's a reason - you are boring as hell!"

"And who made me boring? I was an interesting guy.. Remember my college days? Women used to flock around me"

"Well, I think you are boring now. You are a cliché now. Get it? A bore! You are a bore and your wife was a bore!", I said. 

"So that's why you killed her off? Hacked her to death, that too! Who would have thought you were capable of something so grisly?"

"And for the record, I enjoyed every moment of it. The blood, the gore, the whole process. You know how much I had to research for that one murder? Interesting stuff!", I said. 

"What changed you? You were one of the nice guys? You were a flowers and bouquets guy!"

"I am tired of flowers and bouquets. I am now a dagger and noose guy! Meet the new me !! Now go on, climb up the desk, put the noose around your neck and push the table away. Don't worry about it not moving, it is an old rickety one. One push and you will be done".

"What did I ever do to you? I did your bidding every single time! It was because of you that I chose a girl like Prema - made her fall head-over-heels in love with me and married her. And you introduced me to the other women, made me cheat on my wife and then in the end you made me kill her. What more do you want?"

"Did you know that even though you may become unconscious in a few seconds, dying may actually take longer? I intend to enjoy every second of it", I said. 

"Please... please .. you don't have to do this!" Prabhu cried.

"Oh yes, I do. I need to move on. Your suicide note is ready. And it has come out really well - if I may say so myself! You cannot live with yourself after murdering your wife brutally two days ago. So you decided to end it all. There is also a sappy love poem. Do you think I should leave it there or should I remove it?"

"My wife's murder? Why? You made me do that! You forced me to stab her."

"Dude, you are testing my patience. You don't have a way out. You don't get to choose. You will die now. Remember how Prema begged you the other day? First she begged you and then she begged me. I realized then that I enjoying killing, more than anything else. Come on Prabhu, it's not you, it's me. Lets get it done with. I am hungry. I haven't showered in two days. I need to end this and then eat.", I said a little testily.

"I am talking about life and you are talking about eating." he said.

"Come one now. Enough of talking. Just do it.", I said.

Prabhu walked slowly to the desk and looked at me with tears in his eyes. Seeing that I was in no mood to change my mind, he climbed on to the desk and put the noose around his neck and pushed.

After five minutes, I opened the door and stepped out.

Next to Nandini sat one of her friends from college looking like a deer caught in headlights. She looked at me with something like fear in her eyes. She quickly muttered something to Nandini and by the time I looked up from the fridge, she was gone.

"What's that on your t-shirt? Stop, don't come close", yelled Nandini. "You stink to high heaven. How long has it been since you last showered".

"I am hungry honey! I just murdered a couple", I said.

"Shower first", Nandini said, without batting an eyelid. "What do you mean, you killed a couple? You said it was going to be only Prema - you killed Prabhu too?"

"Yeah. I had to. I had to end it all", I said. I was tired.

"I thought you were a flowers and bouquets guy" she said.

"I am now a serial killer guy. Honey I missed you so much" I said.

"Go and take a shower, while I heat up something for you to eat."

"I miss you. Why don't you join me?" I said with a wink.

"God! Murder makes you weirder than usual! Go on, quick!"

As I walked towards the bathroom, she yelled after me "And next time, can you carry on your conversations with your characters in your head and not aloud? You gave Sriya a fright. She thought you were crazy".

"I can't Nandu. You know me. My characters speak to me" I yelled from the bathroom.

"But you don't have to answer!" she said.

"Well you did choose a writer for a husband" I said, "Now you have to live with it!"