The Elixir of Love

It seemed like a scene straight out of a slasher flick - a young couple having a car breakdown in the middle of nowhere, with both mobile phones dead. Even the necessary atmosphere was provided by the rain, that was threatening to change any moment from a romantic drizzle to a monstrous downpour.

"Let's see if there are any houses nearby", said Preeti.

"Or,we can just stay in the car in the backseat" said Vivek.

"How long can we sit?"

"Who said anything about sitting?" he winked.

"Nice try.. but let's see if there is some place we can wait till it stops raining.", she said with fake anger, "I think I see some light. Maybe there is someone around after all".

"Hey, a man's got to try", said Vivek while he followed her.

The house seemed farther away than they thought and the path was muddy. There was a dull light-bulb on the porch outside, but darkness seemed to be fighting a battle against it. It didn't seem to be going well for the light-bulb.

"You know, this is where you encounter an old man or an old woman. He or she is actually a serial killer. Are you sure you want to do this? We can always go back to the car.", he said sounding hopeful.

"You have been watching too many bad Halloween movies. Even if there is no one in the house, we can stay dry in the veranda here. And about your plan, forget about it." she said with an evil smile.

Just then the door opened to reveal a youngish looking man. He seemed to be in his early thirties.

"Can I help you?" he said, looking at both of them, but actually, sizing up Preeti quickly in the way that men of all ages do to women of some age-groups - surreptitious only in their minds.

Vivek pretended not to notice and explained about the car breakdown and how they were just hoping to use the veranda till the rain stopped.

"Oh! But you should come in and change into something dry. This rain may not stop for now."

"No, that would be asking for too much. We are fine, really. We will wait here, if that's ok."

"Don't worry, I am not a serial killer, just a normal boring guy. I am Deepak. Come on in. I promise I don't bite." he said with a welcoming smile.

"That is what the serial killers always say in the beginning" muttered Vivek, when Deepak had moved out of earshot.

Preeti shot him a look that meant 'Shut up!', (with the exclamation mark) and followed Deepak.

"Do you live alone here?" she asked, out of courtesy. Besides, Deepak looked good. "Dishy!", she mouthed, turning to Vivek, who was behind her.

"No, I live with my wife. Sharda, honey, look we have guests".

And from the room, came a stunning looking woman. Vivek, to his credit, actually had the decency to not let his mouth hang open. He couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Hello", he squeaked. Preeti was looking at him like she was going to kill him.

"Hi, I am Preeti. This is my dear, darling husband Vivek. Don't mind him. He suffers from temporary dumbness". Vivek had quickly recovered and now it was his turn to glare at her.

"Their car broke down and they were looking for some shelter till the rain stopped. I invited them in to have a drink. We don't get to see too many people here" said Deepak from behind them.

"If you don't mind my saying so, you are a cute looking couple" said Sharda. She seemed like someone straight out of a painting - surreal and fragile!

"Wow! I was about to say exactly that! You guys look lovely together too."

"Darling, why don't you go and dry yourself?" Vivek almost whispered to Preeti." Sharda - can I call you Sharda? - could you please give her a towel or something. She catches infections very easily.", said Vivek.

"What about you? You need a towel too." said Preeti.

"Come Preeti. My clothes should fit you. You can wear one of mine".

The room seemed quiet after the two women had left.

Deepak handed Vivek a towel wordlessly. Vivek was taking in the house and the occupant without making it too obvious. It was a huge house. There was even a fireplace like he had seen in old films. Various antiques were displayed at strategic locations in the hall. It has a lived-in feel, thought Vivek, even though he had no idea what that meant. Preeti was right, he had been reading too many books.

"Are you newly married?" asked Deepak, with a smile.

"Yes, six months now. It feels like a lot more though. We dated for more than three years. We waited till we could settle down in our jobs. I feel like I have known her all my life", he said, while a little voice in his head was asking him what in God's name he thought he was doing, talking about 'feelings' with a complete stranger.

"And you love each other very much..", he said, not so much a question, as a declaration.

"Of course, we do", said Vivek wondering how strange this conversation was.

"How much? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with her?" he asked.

"Well, that's the whole idea behind getting married, I guess" said Vivek.

"And how long do you think 'rest of your life' means"? he asked.

"This conversation is getting really weird", thought Vivek, but still couldn't stop himself. "Forever and ever is what I wish for, but 60-70 years at least. It is difficult to think beyond that".

"What is Preeti doing inside?", he muttered, getting a little restless. "Surely this man is crazy and is going to kill us soon", he thought morbidly.

"How old do you think Sharda is?" - the sudden change in topic threw Vivek a little.

"Hmm.. twenty five?" he said.

"And how old do you think I am?" asked Deepak, with a twinkle in his eye.

"About twenty-nine or thirty?" said Vivek.

"This may sound outlandish, but I am going to tell you something. It is the truth, no matter how it sounds to you. Sharda and I have been married for one hundred and twelve years now." Deepak said, looking grave.

Vivek had the good sense to control his laughter within a minute. "And that is the truth, even though it sounds outlandish?" he said, unable to hide the sarcasm from his voice.

"Look at the picture on the fireplace. Look behind it. What does it say?" said Deepak.

"It says Dhanraj studios, 1905. This is some old couple who look vaguely like you. It doesn't prove anything." said Vivek, with a sneer. "What a nutcase!" he thought. "Wait till I tell Preeti all about it. What is she doing inside!"

"It seemed like a gift at that time. We were young. We were in love. We were madly in love! And love made us do foolish stuff, including accepting that elixir! We thought love was eternal. We thought staying young forever would make the love young forever too. We were wrong. Now I just wish I could grow old, that I could die one day. Mortality! That is all I ask for! Is it too much to ask? Should we suffer in eternal hell for a tiny mistake we made long ago? And that old man who gave it - the bugger and his wife died peacefully in some remote location, leaving us to rot here for eternity! He had managed to live for two hundred years! I can't imagine another two hundred seconds! I am babbling.. I am scaring you.. You think I am crazy! You don't believe me!"

Truth be told, Vivek was a bit rattled. "This man is worse than a serial killer! He is raving mad! Now to find a way to escape from the clutches of this guy! And that poor girl -Sharda! Maybe she needs to be saved too!"

"You think I am lying, don't you? You don't believe in elixirs. You probably read fantasy fiction, but don't think such things exist. How can a person live for over a hundred and twenty years and still look thirty? What about metabolism, right? If such a thing existed, the pharma companies would have had a field day, right? That is what I thought too. But he convinced me. He and his wife told us we could stay young forever or pass it on to another couple-in-love, if we all of us were willing. We could never have children, he said. 'We have each other - we thought - We don't need anybody else!'. And we drank it man. We drank the bloody thing. And we moved here, where there are no neighbors or even passers-by. We have had the company of each other for the past hundred and twelve years man. And let me tell you, I hate that woman. I love her, I can't live without her. But sometimes I would love to kill her ".

"For a minute, I will accept your story. You got hold of some elixir thingy from some crazy old couple. Your wife and you agreed you wanted to be together forever and drank it. But you could have split up when you didn't like her anymore. And what do you do for food? And money?"

"We get food and other necessities delivered at our doorstep. There is a trust-fund in our name. These were all a part of the agreement we signed. I can show you the agreement if you don't believe me. There was only one condition. We could not separate. We could not let the world know about us."

"Then why are you telling me this?"

"That's our exit clause. If we could convince another couple, who came voluntarily to our house, to drink the elixir, we could leave the trust money to them and leave this goddamned place. We are not allowed to lie to them about us or what they will be signing up for. We are supposed to tell them the whole truth. Something about testing their true love or some such bullshit. I don't remember. I am tired man"

"Again, let us imagine for a moment, that I am buying all this, why aren't you trying to sell it to me? And what is wrong with eternal love?"

Deepak was silent for a few minutes.

"I used to love it when she woke up in the morning, looking all disheveled and cute. I used to serve coffee on the bed.. but after ten years, I just served the coffee, never stopped to look at her. After fifteen years, I stopped drinking coffee."

"You are making it seem like a big deal. I make breakfast for Preeti too. And the smile she gives when I give her, her coffee - priceless!"

"You know PMS man? That time of the month when the women behave like they have ants up their asses? Nothing you do seems right to them? And they yell at you and then cry for yelling at you? And talk like they hate you the most in the world?"

"Err.. yeah.. you know this is embarrassing me. What are you saying here?"

"Imagine it - month after month, for over one hundred years man! I would exchange that to living in the Amazon jungles with wild animals any day!"

"Ouch.. but .. but.. I love Preeti. She is my princess and during ..err.. these times that you were mentioning about, I treat her like a queen!"

"I did too man, I did too.... But after forty years, it got a little tiresome.. And the hair.. there is hair on every bloody thing. On the floor, in the food, on me, on the table! "

"You are being unfair to her, I think. I don't know if I can even call you 'dude'. If what you say is true, you must be older than my great-grandfather"

"Forget the proof man. I can show you enough to convince you. Take a few days. Don't talk to anyone else about this, except your wife. Come back in a week. We aren't going anywhere. Think of everything you find cute about her, every tiny fault that you find adorable today, her baby-talk when she is trying to get you to agree to something, her fussing over her clothes, her wanting to get her upper-lip and eyebrows tweezed every stupid month - and her looking like a wild-animal when she skips a month, her temper tantrums that, today you think can be cured with love. Think about the good and the bad. Think of it as genuine question - a test of your love, if you want to call it that. If given a chance, would you want to stay young and stay with your wife for eternity? That is the question. If your answer to my question is 'Yes', then we will talk. Next week."

Just at that moment, Sharda walked into the room, followed by a rather meek looking Preeti. Her face that would light up every time she looked at Vivek, looked drawn. Her smile, which made him go weak at the knees every single time, was now conspicuous by its absence. Sharda took a look at Vivek and turned to Deepak "Sweetie, did you tell him everything? He looks shaken".

"Of course I did honey-bunny. He will be fine. They will be fine! They are like we were once! Deeply in love!"

"The rain seems to have stopped. We should really be going now. I managed to charge my phone a little, so we can call a taxi if the car doesn't start.", said Preeti in a small voice.

"So we will see you next week?" said Sharda, a bit too brightly.

"I think so. Don't you Vivek?" said Preeti, praying inside that Vivek would come up with some excuse to refuse. She didn't want to be the one who didn't believe enough in their love.

"I think so. We'll see. Thanks for the hospitality!".

Their walk back to the car was slower. There wasn't much talk.
"Did you use the toilet? Did you remember to put the seat up?" asked Preeti in a low voice.

"Don't be stupid. I didn't use it. Even if I did, you know I always put the seat up!". said Vivek, a little testily.

"Yeah, right! You 'always' put the seat up, just like you always throw your tissues in the dustbin, and not ball them up and throw them wherever you are sitting."

"Stop it, let us at least get home before we start the bickering. What is the date today?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Just checking if it is that time of the month, when women get ants.. forget it.."

"You mean PMS? And we have been married for what? Six months? Are you going to say it every time I call you out for irritating me? She did tell me this was going to happen"

"What else did she tell you?"

"What did he tell you?"

Silence.

"Preeti, my dear, let me tell you something. This whole thing doesn't feel right. It feels like that Elizabeth Taylor movie - Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf? They seem to be nasty people. Forget the elixir, forget eternal life. Let's just live for the moment, ok?'

"Can we talk about this when we get home? I want time to think."

The car started without any trouble and the ride home was mostly quiet.

Meanwhile..

"Honey, you looked ravishing today"

"Well you looked pretty hot too. But you were ogling at that poor girl"

"You think I didn't notice you sizing that guy up? Not a bad looking couple actually"

"You think they bought the story? Do you think they will come back?"

"Oh, they will never come back and it is not about the story. It is never about the story or the elixir. It is about the moment innocence is replaced with a shadow of doubt"

"She seemed so much in love with him, that I almost felt guilty telling her things about things men do"

"Like leaving the toilet seat down?"

"Like leaving the toilet seat down... and leaving their smelly socks rolled into a ball while putting them in the washing machine.. or bringing their muddy shoes inside the house.. or being horny at the drop of a hat"

"Hey, I like the last one..say some more"

"No way, you monster, you destroyer of young love"

"Bitchy Witch"

"Evil Devil"

"Come closer, now and see what the Devil is capable of"

"Nothing turns you on like seeing a couple looking broken"

"I could say the same about you"

"Coochicoochicoo"

"Darling.."

Dear Kavitha..

Dear Kavitha,

Congratulations on the big news. I heard from some of our common acquaintances about the new addition to your new family. You are blessed indeed. Is your husband taking good care of you?
You know, I started writing to you many times in the past. But every single time, I balked at sending it. In fact, most times I could not get past the first 2-3 paragraphs. I couldn't see for my tears and my trembling hands. And my father has always told me to never do anything when emotional, especially put down one's thoughts in writing. "They will be on record then", he used to say. "You can't take them back!".
"Don't write negative things in your diary", my mother used to say. "When you read it later, you will go through the same emotions another time."
So I waited, till I could settle down. I think I have now.
When my parents chose Anand for me, I was on cloud nine. I had never been in love before. And like many Indian girls, I was willing to fall in love with someone my parents had chosen. I used to show him off to my friends and invite him for family dos even before we were married. I would watch him talk and joke and loved it when people laughed at his jokes.
When he told me to join aerobics classes, I was touched. So much concern! And I loved it when he told me when a dress did not suit me. 'He notices me'. I thought.
Memories are strange. They are rarely linear. I remember this one time, when we walked 2 km to get ice-cream. It was 10 pm then. We didn't talk much - I didn't talk much. Anand spoke about something - some book or the other and I just listened. It felt like the most romantic thing ever.
Then there was this instance, where he threw his plate saying the food was too salty. I couldn't talk then either. I was too stunned to react. I had never witnessed such an outburst from anybody before then.
And the time when I just lay by his side and watched him sleep. There was a full moon outside. And the man I loved was next to me. I was too full of happiness that night, to fall asleep. I just watched him and thought how lucky I was..
'You are looking uglier and uglier day by day. I don't feel attracted to you!', he yelled one morning. "I am ashamed of going out with you. People laugh at you, do you even know that?" he said. And he left for work with the lunchbox I had packed for him. No calls, no text messages apologizing for his behaviour. And the next day it was like nothing happened.
But you know what was more humiliating? When his lawyer - a ratting looking one, told me in my lawyer's office that Anand was going to contest the divorce and was going to charge me with adultery. Anand just sat there. I didn't look at that lawyer, I was looking at him, who wouldn't even look at me. "Who is this man?", I remember thinking.
"Compromise and live with him", said the lawyer.  "This is how marriages are. He says sorry. You apologize too.". My mother was bawling. My father, who I always thought of as a well-built man, seemed to have shrunk.
Oh wait, not that. It was probably when I found that ticket stub in Anand's bag, which showed he had returned three days earlier from his Hong Kong trip. Why would he lie to me and where was he for the past three days, I wondered. One of my friends who worked for a detective agency, found out that Anand had been to Manali on those 2 days. It was humiliating. He had called me too twice during those days telling me about the meetings he was rushing to. And I also found out that it wasn't the first time he had lied about his 'official trips'.
Getting cheated upon is hurtful - but you know what hurts more? It is the look people give you; the fact that your life has become a spectacle to these voyeurs; the way your parents look at you, and sometimes question you if you did something wrong. It is like being made to stand naked in a busy marketplace, with every passerby stopping to gawk at you. Every moment spent with him, the good and the bad, every spoken word, every pause, every minute of silence, every touch, every kiss - your mind keeps replaying them till you can't take it for another second and you can't kill yourself, because you don't want to do that to your parents and you can't run away from yourself. The uncontrollable urge to call him, text him - first yelling and then dissolving into tears and reducing yourself to begging him to come back ...the disgust you feel at yourself what you have become...the well-meaning but extremely frustrating advice from your patients, friends and relatives and above all, going to bed hoping you will wake up to realize it was all a nightmare and waking up to realize it is all true.. that you cannot do anything to make it go away - THAT is hurtful.
That day, when I saw him at your house, coming out of your bedroom looking defiant- me, with my family and friends for support and you staying back in the room and your parents standing in the hall looking confused by it all - that is stuff Stephen King's novels are made of. Adultery and cheating happened to others, right? Wrong!
Did you know that till a week before the divorce, Anand was talking about getting back together? We met at a coffee shop and he tried to act normal. He apologized for his behaviour, said his relationship with you wasn't serious. He held my hand. Did he tell you that? I tried, I really really tried to sit and have a conversation with him like 'adults' - Anand's favourite phrase. Have you noticed that he has this annoying habit of shaking his right leg, when he is talking? Funny I had never noticed it before! I was looking at the leg he couldn't stop shaking. I was trying to look anywhere but at his face, and at his hand that was on top of mine. I wanted to ask him to stop talking. His voice was irritating with the awful affected accent he slips into and the way he said "like" as though he was sixteen years old. But I had promised my mother to try to be nice and give him a chance. I couldn't. I was thinking of those hands on your hands, how they must have held you and caressed you - those hands that flung the plate one day - the same hands that must have hugged you from behind. I couldn't take it anymore and left the place.
I know you have been through a divorce before. I don't hold any grudge against you. In fact I don't even hold any grudge against Anand - who became your husband within 2 weeks of becoming my ex-husband. So much for a non-serious relationship! He is now a father. Pretty incredible really, that too six months into your marriage! At least you don't have to worry about the people popping the inevitable question of when you are planning to start having children! I am sure he must have told you that till a month before the divorce, on the days he didn't spend with you, he was with me.
You have had a daughter, I heard. My best wishes to the proud parents! Don't worry, I am not looking for a comeuppance. You are married to a man who left his wife for another and that is punishment enough. As for Anand, I don't believe that a person can undergo a change of heart overnight - that happens in films. I only wish that he never has to see his daughter being eaten from inside, for no fault of hers.
Don't feel sorry for me. I am thankful to you for taking him off my back. If you hadn't happened, like most Indian brides, I would have stayed in that marriage, living like a doormat. It took some getting used to -  to wake up without a fear in the pit of my stomach ("can you do one thing right? How did you get your degree?")... to watch something I like on TV ("what a third rate show! No wonder you love it").. to eat my favourite food ("tuck it in honey.. You are beyond all help anyway").. to laugh out aloud ("Your teeth!! Your idiotic parents never heard of braces?") but I now value my freedom more than ever before. The sun shines brighter, the water tastes sweeter.
You know, the thing about becoming single again, is that suddenly there are many kind men who want to ease your pain and loneliness with their company. I find it funny. I bet Anand was funny and kind to you too, when you were lonely!
I may adopt a baby...You see, I realize that while I like the ends, the means to it seems to be too big a price to pay.

Not-your-friend (someday, we can bitch about your husband, but till then)
Shweta