I have been in 2 minds about writing this post, because I didn't want it to seem like a rant. A longish post, but there is a point I am trying to make..
And an important disclaimer - I was brought up in a family where we were taught and made to recite shlokas everyday and our only lesson on religious differences was that we used different names for Gods. I don't remember my mother telling us that we were Brahmins/ upper caste or anything. It didn't seem necessary at that time.
In class 4, when I joined a new school in Coimbatore, a girl from my class walked up to me and asked me if I was a Brahmin and I replied 'Yes' and felt extremely ashamed to talk about caste etc., in school. By then I had heard the term from the others and had asked my parents what the word meant. The explanation was again very simple - we were people who do not 'normally' eat meat and we worshipped the Hindu deities.
My parents didn't think of caste pride or Hindu pride. My mother studied at a Christian institution and proudly sang Christian songs in tamil.
My best friend from school was/is a Christian. We rarely discussed religion. It wasn't something as bad as 'tolerance' - it was more of 'acceptance'. We never thought of forcing the other person to accept our beliefs. But we discussed her catechism classes on Sundays like we discussed about everything else. I was curious to visit a Church and she took me to visit one. I never asked if she was keen to visit a temple, but I know she happily took the Vibhuti often, when I distributed some to my school friends. It wasn't about appeasement. It was just another facet of the person.
I heard the term 'Brahmin' and 'Paarpaan' more from people around me, than within the family. As we grew older, the voices became louder.
My identity wasn't what I chose for myself. It was already created by people around me. At school, during a particular nasty incident, a teacher made a loud remark in the classroom that 'some people who are from the forward community, may think they are better than others'. It shook me completely. She was the teacher and I wasn't allowed to react.
A rather nasty sports teacher beat up my then-7-year old brother and never missed a chance to insult me, hurt me physically in school. My parents were told that he hated Brahmins and that if he was questioned, he would raise it with the school teachers' union or something. So we were asked to chin up and accept the abuse.
In the supposedly cosmopolitan set-up of our apartment complex, there were often jokes made at our expense - more about our food habits than anything else - that we ate grass and had no idea how tasty meat was. We were also told that Brahmins were shameless and spineless - we weren't supposed to react - because in TN, you are allowed to say things like that and get away with it.
I could not get into an Engineering college. And when I applied for a science course in an arts college, I was driven away by the peon saying I was an FC and hence an application form would not be given. I was upset, but was forced to beg the semi-literate guy for an application form.
And an important disclaimer - I was brought up in a family where we were taught and made to recite shlokas everyday and our only lesson on religious differences was that we used different names for Gods. I don't remember my mother telling us that we were Brahmins/ upper caste or anything. It didn't seem necessary at that time.
In class 4, when I joined a new school in Coimbatore, a girl from my class walked up to me and asked me if I was a Brahmin and I replied 'Yes' and felt extremely ashamed to talk about caste etc., in school. By then I had heard the term from the others and had asked my parents what the word meant. The explanation was again very simple - we were people who do not 'normally' eat meat and we worshipped the Hindu deities.
My parents didn't think of caste pride or Hindu pride. My mother studied at a Christian institution and proudly sang Christian songs in tamil.
My best friend from school was/is a Christian. We rarely discussed religion. It wasn't something as bad as 'tolerance' - it was more of 'acceptance'. We never thought of forcing the other person to accept our beliefs. But we discussed her catechism classes on Sundays like we discussed about everything else. I was curious to visit a Church and she took me to visit one. I never asked if she was keen to visit a temple, but I know she happily took the Vibhuti often, when I distributed some to my school friends. It wasn't about appeasement. It was just another facet of the person.
I heard the term 'Brahmin' and 'Paarpaan' more from people around me, than within the family. As we grew older, the voices became louder.
My identity wasn't what I chose for myself. It was already created by people around me. At school, during a particular nasty incident, a teacher made a loud remark in the classroom that 'some people who are from the forward community, may think they are better than others'. It shook me completely. She was the teacher and I wasn't allowed to react.
A rather nasty sports teacher beat up my then-7-year old brother and never missed a chance to insult me, hurt me physically in school. My parents were told that he hated Brahmins and that if he was questioned, he would raise it with the school teachers' union or something. So we were asked to chin up and accept the abuse.
In the supposedly cosmopolitan set-up of our apartment complex, there were often jokes made at our expense - more about our food habits than anything else - that we ate grass and had no idea how tasty meat was. We were also told that Brahmins were shameless and spineless - we weren't supposed to react - because in TN, you are allowed to say things like that and get away with it.
I could not get into an Engineering college. And when I applied for a science course in an arts college, I was driven away by the peon saying I was an FC and hence an application form would not be given. I was upset, but was forced to beg the semi-literate guy for an application form.
My accent was made fun of at college and later at work.
People called me 'maami' and spoke in a supposed Brahmin accent. I was supposed to smile because it was all in jest, right? (Try speaking to an African American in what is touted as their lingo and you will be branded a racist).
A close friend told me that her uncles 'hated' Brahmins - just like that - to my face - even though they knew no Brahmins.
People called me 'maami' and spoke in a supposed Brahmin accent. I was supposed to smile because it was all in jest, right? (Try speaking to an African American in what is touted as their lingo and you will be branded a racist).
A close friend told me that her uncles 'hated' Brahmins - just like that - to my face - even though they knew no Brahmins.
I am not traumatized. I have not had to emerge stronger from anything. I made my life - engineering degree or not. Most of us have done so. Till date, I have not asked what community a person belongs to, because it does not really matter to me. A person is a friend irrespective of her/ his gender/ race/ religion etc. But I am not ashamed of what I am either - not for being a woman, or a Tamil or a Hindu or being born in a Brahmin family.
Yet, I do find it tiresome that the jokes have not stopped. Worse still, the abuse has only gone up. I saw S.Ve.Shekhar's live video a couple of days back, where he had made some good points. But the comments below were full of hatred. How dare he ask people not to hurt Brahmins!! How dare he say that Brahmins had not been involved in any of the caste clashes in TN or elsewhere! He was a Brahmin - not a human!
Yet, I do find it tiresome that the jokes have not stopped. Worse still, the abuse has only gone up. I saw S.Ve.Shekhar's live video a couple of days back, where he had made some good points. But the comments below were full of hatred. How dare he ask people not to hurt Brahmins!! How dare he say that Brahmins had not been involved in any of the caste clashes in TN or elsewhere! He was a Brahmin - not a human!
So what if we are willing to accept those who came to India a few hundred years ago, as our brothers? We will continue to believe in the spurious Aryan Invasion theory, because we need a target that will not retaliate!
Interestingly many people took offence with one of the statements he made - that we should think of Religion and Caste as our parents and not abuse one another's parents. People were furious that he wasn't talking about eradicating caste itself! And I was wondering about which planet these people were living in! Till the time the reservations exist, caste will not be eradicated. Till the time job applications and other government applications have a caste column, it is not going to be out of the picture. Caste and religion, in India, like parents are something we are born into. We do not get to choose them. We may treat a friend/ any person disrespectfully, but are usually respectful towards their parents. They may never become our parents, but we still accord them respect. And it was in this vein that I think SVS made that statement.
Forget India. My then-6-year-old niece was told by her tamil teacher in Singapore, that she was a Brahmin and would hence not be able to talk tamil well. The kid was confused because like my parents, my sister did not think it was necessary for the children to know about caste etc., but that day she had to explain in vague terms at least what it meant. So till the mindset of people changes, caste will continue to exist.
Those who use abusive or other type of language to protest against the evils of the caste system, please take a minute to sit down, do some research on where it still prevails, and on who were involved in some of the honour killings in TN, on where untouchability is still practised, on where a 2-glass system still prevails. Go back to your villages and make sure they are not in that list. Think back to how your ancestors behaved and also whether you would like to be punished for something they may or may not have done 100 years ago. The forces that want to divide the country have openly stated that casteism is the fault line in India and that they will use it to divide the country and cause mayhem.
Life, as a Brahmin in Tamilnadu, is something that cannot be explained in any number of posts. For all my well-wishing, well-intentioned friends - I don't ask for sympathy. No matter how it seems, but we are people too and just treat us that way
