Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Lunchbox

(My first and so far only attempt at a short story..)
Seema was fuming.
“Look at what your sister has given me!”, she yelled at her mother, “A Plastic lunchbox with just 2 compartments!! This is what I get for helping out with serving food and clearing up the dishes during the function! She has done this to insult me!”.
Rajam was wondering what had gotten into her daughter. “It is a return gift. Mythili has always been that way – giving away cheap presents. Why do you make such a big fuss? If you don’t like it, give it to someone else.”.
“She gave all the others stainless steel lunchboxes. Your sisters hate us and our family. She has done this out of spite. I know what made her do this. Her good-for-nothing daughter is moving to London in a few months. She knows my husband’s job is in trouble and wants to mock me.”.
“I am sure it is nothing like that”, said Rajam. “But wait, you said her daughter is moving to London?”.
“That is what I said. Your sister’s son-in-law is not even an engineer and his wife is just a degree holder and look at where they are now! No wonder your sister feels entitled to act in any manner she thinks is right!”.
Now Rajam was getting worked up too. Coming to think of it, her sister, who used to be a nobody in the family, did seem to be acting arrogant these days.  She picked up the phone to dial Mythili’s number, when the phone rang.
“Hello Akka, I called to thank Seema and Manju for all their help. There was no current supply that day and I was so overwhelmed with work – I don’t know what I could have done without their help.”, said Mythili.
Rajam recovered quickly. “You have given Seema a plastic lunchbox! After all my daughters did for you, is this how you repay them?”.
“A plastic lunchbox? There must have been some mix-up. I had kept that aside to give it to my sister-in-law. She has young kids and I thought she would find it useful. If someone is coming this way, ask Seema to send the lunchbox back. I will give her the stainless steel one I had kept aside for her” said Mythili. She still sounded nonplussed.
“It seems Renu’s husband has already moved to London. Renu wanted to keep this news a secret till things were confirmed.”, said Rajam as she replaced the telephone handset.
“Your sister was already full of pride after her other 2 children got jobs abroad. Now her behavior is going to be worse.”, said Seema. She was still unconvinced with Mythili’s explanation on the mix-up.
A tiny part of her brain seemed to be telling her that she was probably over-reacting – that she was responding to the unexpected news about her cousin than about an actual insult. She quickly shut the voice up.
Life seemed unfair. She was born to rich parents, was brought up with a sense of entitlement and never had to work even a single day. Things changed after her marriage. Her husband wasn’t poor, but then he wasn’t rich either. He was the worst kind of person an ambitious woman could have married – an honest government servant. And so, while Seema watched with disbelief and later mounting resentment, people who she considered beneath her, grew in status.  Every action and non-action by these traitors seemed offensive, calculated to insult her.
Seema wasn’t ready to let go of Mythili so easily. This deliberate insult had to be avenged. She was going to punish her aunt by ignoring her in public. Her first chance came when Mythili called her to invite her for her grandchild’s naming ceremony. She gave short and curt responses to Mythili’s questions and refused to attend the ceremony.
Mythili did not seem to notice. What is an insult, if it is not taken as one by the person who it is intended for? This vexed Seema further. The next opportunity presented itself soon. When Mythili went to visit her sister to invite her for her son’s wedding, Seema, who lived next door, slammed the door hoping Mythili noticed. Rajam, who was used to her daughter’s tantrums, asked Mythili to invite Seema personally for the wedding. But Mythili was in a hurry – she had left her daughter- the new mother and her grandchild home and had to rush back.
Rajam and Manju were beyond themselves. The family’s favourite was being insulted by a bloody nouveau riche. They decided to hit back by not attending the wedding.  The other siblings and their spouses were warned of consequences if any of them dared to attend the wedding.
Months went by – more attempts at reconciliation were ignored. Childhood friendships were broken. A personal misunderstanding gradually morphed into a family feud. More weddings and family functions were avoided. Slowly the invitations for the family functions stopped coming. 
Once in a while, Rajam thought about her sister and about the good times they had shared. In these rare instances, she openly blamed her daughter for the state of things. But when Seem and Manju yelled at her for taking her sister’s side, she was forced to shut up. This love and sympathy for her sister lasted only till she saw Mythili in other functions. Mythili did not seem to be suffering enough for the hurt she had caused. In fact she seemed to be doing much better than before and Rajam was forced.
Mythili was initially surprised and even found the reaction of her niece funny. By the time she realized that she had inadvertently caused a full-blown war, she had already hardened inside. She was now armed with the kind of strength that money gives to those who have lived a large part of their lives without it and who have come to terms with slights and insults meted out by the relatives.
“I am sorry about the loss of a sister and a friend – nothing else.”, she told someone months later.
Years went by. The relatives had by now stopped any attempts to reconcile the families. By this time irritation had been replaced by disgust and hatred and later by complete indifference. And time went on..
Gautam and Ashwini were looking at an old album.
“Who is this standing next to Kollu paati*?”, asked Ashwini.
“I don’t know. I have never seen these pictures myself. Paati might know.”, said Gautam.
“Paati, who is this standing next to Kollu paati? Your grandson does not seem to know.”, asked Ashwini.
Seema, who had just finished her daily dose of medicines and TV soaps, was thinking about taking a quick nap, when her newly married grandson’s young wife came in holding an album in her hand.
“Get me those glasses. I can hardly see without them”, said Seema. “This is my aunt – my mother’s sister”.
“Is she alive? Was she there for our wedding?”, asked Ashwini.
“I think she is alive. She wasn’t invited for the wedding though.”, said Seema.
“Why?” asked Ashwini.
“Our families have not spoken to each other for many years now”, said Seema.
“Sounds like there is a juicy story here. Tell me the story behind it”, said Ashwini.
“I don’t remember very well. I think it was about a plastic lunchbox” said Seema.

And as she said it out aloud for the first time in years, the stupidity of it all and all the years spent in hatred flashed in front of her. And she stood there wondering what had gone wrong all those years ago.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Its a jungle out here


The conversations start innocently enough and it is as though the drivers in Qatar have an SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) for interrogating passengers - especially women, who look distinctly Indian.

Driver : India?
Me : Yes (thinking, How many Europeans have you seen wearing a bindi and vibhuti on their foreheads on the streets of Doha)
Driver (if Indian, then it is mostly like a Malayali) : Malayalam?
Me : No- Tamil
After a few minutes of Silence,
D: Children in India
Me: No children (thinking, well it isn't a lie!)
D (Now he is concerned about me): No Children?!?!
Me pretending to have suddenly turned deaf and looking elsewhere hoping he stops his questioning..
D (now feeling the need to teach me to be a better person) : Husband in India?
Me : No, not married (like this is important information that the driver needs to stay alive)
The driver is now close to crashing his car and looks through the rear view mirror at me. Gives a completely idiotic smile - the kind that only Indian men who cannot keep themselves out of others' business are capable of. The kind that says - 'Prepare yourself, for I am now going to turn to your self-appointed guardian who, although will be in your life for about 15 minutes, will still tell you how Indian women should live!'

D: Why?
Me: Not interested
D: Why?
Me: Just like that


People were right - the country as such is mostly safe. Most people here are not locals and are here to work. Any kind of crime committed lands a person in prison or gets the person deported. So that keeps the people away from crime. But I am learning something new. There are some things that cannot be legally called a crime and are not punishable by law. For the first time in my life, I am forced to be very self-conscious.
By now, I am already used to walking into meeting rooms filled with men, with me often being the sole representative of my gender. I have never thought much of it. There exists a gender-less, ageless atmosphere within these rooms. Not so, when I walk outside on the road in the evening if  I have to buy something.

Imagine something like the opposite of a zoo, where it is you on display. There are hardly any women on the roads - the few that are to be seen are with their husbands or other men. So a woman walking alone is a rare sight and the men around never let go of such a rare sight. So these men stop their talk and stare at you. Staring cannot be called a crime, but when it is 100 pairs of eyes doing that, it sure does feel like one.

Things became a little more interesting a couple of months back. I was in a mood to make mistakes. I got into the front passenger seat of the taxi. After this usual conversation (refer above), the driver realized that he had a chance. For some reason he thought that if someone could change my mind, it was going to be him. So he started the groundwork.
D. How much is your salary Madam?
Me: Do you know that it is wrong to ask a person about his/her salary?
D: Really? I thought it was wrong to ask for the age.
Me:It is wrong to ask for the salary too.
D: Your Hindi is beautiful Madam.
Now I thought it was better to tell him my age, hoping that would put him off.
Next he asked me to give his phone a call, so that I could store his number. Maybe it something I had eaten that morning, but I was doing more and more foolish things and do as he says.
The following weekend, the phone rings twice and then stops - this, smack in the middle of the day and it is a number I do not recognize. When I looked at the history, I realized it was from this useless cab driver. I ignored it, but the thought kept gnawing me from inside. Why would the man call me? I was supposed to call him if I needed a ride somewhere!
The next evening, my usual cab driver did not come in the evening and after trying other numbers, I was forced to call the same guy. Imagine my surprise when the guy said he had been thinking about what I said all  that night! It psyched me completely, but I had no one to blame except myself!
The funniest part of all of it was when the guy told me that most men in the Middle East had dishonourable intentions and I thought - It takes one to know one!
I thought I had learnt my lesson, so I acted in what I thought was the right manner. My conversations now sounded like this:

Driver : India?
Me : Yes (Looking outside)
Driver : Malayalam?
Me : No- Tamil
After a few minutes of Silence,
D: Children in India
Me: Yes (Sorry Amma, but sometimes lying can also be dharma, if it saves a life or reduces stress!)
D:How many?
Me : 2 - 1 girl and 1 boy
D (now feeling that all is alright with the world) : Husband in India?
Me : Yes
D (slightly worried about me ignoring my motherly and wifely duties): They coming here?
Me: No, I will leave in a few weeks.
Poor driver ends up feeling bored and dejected because :
a. He cannot advise
b. He cannot flirt

My travails seem to have ended (with the drivers at least) with a final episode with a new Tamil cab driver, who thought he was being very smart when he asked me for my date of birth (instead of age). And if anybody reading this thought Rathi had learnt her lesson, I am sorry to say that she did not. She promptly gave the correct answer and then asked the driver why he wanted to know. However you will be happy to know that she gave him a piece of her mind after she had answered all the unnecessary questions truthfully :)
Harassment need not necessarily be physical. Violation of personal spaces can be harassing too and I am learning it the hard way here. After living most of my life trying not to get noticed, the attention I am getting now is becoming something of a pain in the posterior (see how polite I am?). I want to yell out and say 'I am too old for this you moron!'. And to those desperados who think that I have managed to stay single so far because I had not met him so far, I want to say - 'It is not you, it is me!!' if that will make them stop making these embarrassing passes at me!