Management Lessons Learnt

A week away from my laptop in a management program was almost as good as a vacation, with learning happening alongside. This was a program for middle management with people from all over the organization staying in our beloved ‘College-hostel’ like guest-’house’.

Some random thoughts after the program:

a. Not all talks on management related topics are boring. A (very) few were inspiring, a few interesting, a few provoked some serious introspection - but even the driest lecture had something about it to at least make us laugh (for reasons I would rather not mention).

b. Some minor inconveniences only help in seeing the bigger picture. In the beginning two of us were asked to share each of the guest house rooms. Later, eight of us, stayed inside a not-so-primitive tent, although the only characteristic we shared was gender. We developed a good rapport by the end of the 6 days and got to know a few people better.

c. Shyness is only a function of time. Also it is difficult to continue the pretence of being a serious intellectual, who is silent because her thoughts are too profound and not because she has nothing interesting or witty to say. Fortunately the program ended before the entire truth stumbled out about you-know-who!!

d. Managers are not necessarily aggressive people - at least not all the time - and usually not when more aggressive people are around

e. Managers are normal people and are as crazy as any other person. In fact some of them are crazier than Govinda’s films. If they appear serious, it is because someone somewhere told them that that is how managers behave!

f. Art is a major ice-breaker and can quickly bring the guard down for most people. A few songs during the bonfire in the outbound learning centre and we were all suddenly great friends.

g. No matter how tough one is, it is still very touching to see people being protective about you especially when you hardly know any of these people. We were all doing some dare-devil stunts (and the military guys at the outbound centre would roll their eyes if they heard the activities described this way!!) and I was touched when my colleagues around me stopped their activity to make sure I got down without harming myself. (And then it could also be because they were afraid that I would hurt them in the process of saving myself !!)

h. It is a great feeling when you can overcome your fears. One of the activities at the outbound learning centre was rappelling - climbing down a large rock substituting for a cliff, with a rope tied on one end to a facilitator standing on top of the rock and the other passing through your harness. The experts did a demo of it and it was scary. You have to actually stand perpendicular to the rock while climbing down putting your life in the hands of the facilitator at the top. My heart was thudding louder than my loudest possible voice. But I knew I had to do it. Where else was I going to get the opportunity?? And I did it and it felt great.

i. It takes a lot of courage to refuse to do things you are not comfortable doing. A few of our colleagues were scared of climbing down the rock. I was really impressed that they dared to say no in spite of the tremendous peer pressure they were under!

j. No matter how many programs you attend, there is always something new that you discover in the next one. I met some interesting people and not all of them were from our company. We had a session by this amazing gentleman who dreamt of retiring at the age of 40 and did it. He now works for 2 days a week and follows his dreams for the rest of the week. I have the same plan too and I only wish I am as brave as him when I turn 40 !!

k. Great leaders are almost always simple. This was proven again and again during these 6 days. Apart from the usual suspects, we had a session by a neurosurgeon on the last day of the program. This was a program that many in our group were sceptical about. And this was the program that was universally acknowledged as the best of the lot at the end of the 6 days. The man was so full of knowledge that I could almost see knowledge oozing out of his every pore. Yet he was humility personified. People could not stop raving about him and the impact he had on them at the end of the program.

l. Once you have seen a person at his most vulnerable state, it becomes easier to think of him as human and work better with him.

m. No matter what you think of your appearance, a comment about your age or your looks is still capable of rattling you at least a little!!

Many of these leaders proved that to be a good leader, you don’t necessarily have to be aggressive or loud. You do not have to be serious or speak impeccable English. You don’t have to talk about how much you know. Greatness, like good food, advertises itself!!

Great Pick-me-ups

Not to be confused with pick-up lines, but some things that help in changing my mood for the better most of the times:

• The sight of my niece or listening to her talk
• ‘Sri Satyanarayanam’ or ‘Mayamma’ by Sanjay
• Lalgudi’s violin recital
• Picking up the phone and saying ‘Hi’ to my friend who can immediately sense my mood and listen to him prattle on endlessly about absurd stuff, without expecting a reply from me
• Any book by Wodehouse or Sujatha
• Singing the lines ‘Vaazhkai enraal aayiram irukum- Vaasal thorum vedanai irukum; vanda thunbam eduvenraalum; vaadi ninraal oduvathillai - Edayum thaangum idayam irundaal iruthi varaikum amaithi irukum’ (In life thousands of things happen, at every phase sorrows may affect you, but any difficulty does not go away if you sit and sulk about it. If you have a strong heart that can take anything, you will be peaceful till the end), from the song ‘Mayakkama Kalakkama’ by Kannadasan
• Go for a long walk
• Listen to my mother talk
• Spend time in the company of people who don’t find it necessary to fill silences with words.

None of the above cost anything and they work for me. What about you?

Bommai - A 24 hour story

There are times when I have a strange and uncontrollable urge to watch a good movie. I look at my long list of movies and have no mind to watch even one. I look at my DVD library in vain to find one Tamil/Hindi movie that I want to re-watch and I just cannot find one. And these are moments when even my most favourite movie in any other language (Its a wonderful life or Children of Heaven etc. for example) will simply not do.

And I go to flashback mode when DD would throw movies to us like a miser throws food to a beggar - one a week, not including the Hindi movie on Saturday and the regional snoozefest movie of the week on Sunday afternoons (which I still watched by the way!!). I have watched many many movies that would have scarred a normal person irreparably and came out unscathed (although a few others may claim to have discovered the mystery behind my weirdness finally). As a rule, DD would play movies that no person would pay a video lending library hard-earned money for. But DD did something wonderful too. It was (and probably is) the only channel that regularly screened old B&W movies. Thinking back, I think DD’s whole strategy was to make people appreciate B&W movies - Give the viewers a series of torture flicks that were not B&W until they beg for mercy and then give them a B&W movie, which at least had a story!!

I grew up with a healthy appreciation for the B&W movies, thanks to my mother, who would play old songs on radio and cassette players non-stop. I was at home last weekend, when my mom’s remote-crazy fingers finally settled on a channel. I looked up from my book to see one of my favourite movies of yesteryears called ‘Bommai’ (’The Doll’). I watched the movie again after more than 10 years and watched it with renewed appreciation for the style and the script.

It was almost like Hitchcock had made a tamil movie. The movie had a lot of novelties. For starters, it was a thriller and story happens over a period of 24 hours. None of the actors were stars and the script ruled. The movie was written and directed by the maverick director - S. Balachander, who was more popularly known as Veenai Balachander for his prowess with the Veena.

Another interesting tidbit about the music is that the movie featured a song which was sung by a beggar. The rhythm of the song is very slow and the lyrics very philosophical. The young singer who debuted in film music with this song, supposedly lamented that his career was starting off on such an unattractive note. However his career took off and he never looked back. He became one of the most popular singers in India, singing in all Southern languages and becoming quite popular in Hindi too. The singer was none other than K.J.Yesudas!!

The plot of the movie centers around a plot by a group of friends to kill their boss with a bomb hidden inside a doll. Each person in the group has a different reason to hate the boss, none of them noble. The boss, a wealthy old man, is on his way to Singapore and a few in the group have reasons to fear this trip. As a result, they plan to meet with him in the airport and hand over the doll to him, asking him to deliver it to a friend in Singapore. The paper containing the address is pasted to the back of the doll and the trigger for the bomb is attached to it. Unfortunately, they miss the doll in the taxi on their way to the airport. The taxi is then hired by a young couple who find the doll and decide to steal it to gift it to their daughter. The story follows the doll and its misadventures. Does the gang recover the doll? Does the boss get killed? These are questions answered in the end of the movie.

To say that the movie was ahead of its times would be grossly understating it. The nail-biter sequences rival classic thriller movies of all times. Cinematography was brilliant although it was a black and white movie. Songs were composed by S.B himself and are all very pleasing. I especially love the song- ‘Engo pirandavaram’ - a lovely composition in Sahana, which is a proof of S.B’s knowledge of classical music.

S.Balachander made about 4-5 movies in total, almost all of them were thrillers. I remember at least 2 others. ‘Nadu Iravil’ is another classic and was a trendsetter when it released. It was probably the first movie (and only one for a long time!) to have no songs. I remember being blown away by the way the screenplay was written, even at an age when I did not know what a screenplay was! The other is ‘Nadu Iravil’ - a thriller based loosely on the Agatha Christie mystery ‘And then there were none’ (Gumnaam was made much later).

Bommai’s uniqueness was present till the last slide showing ‘Vanakkam’. After the movie ends, SB appears on the screen and requests the audience to stay on for a few more minutes. He talks about the story and introduces the actors and all the technicians - every single one of them including the person who supplied food and tea, the lightman etc., in person. He ends with the statement - ‘And I forgot an important character in the movie’ and the camera zooms to the doll used in the movie and the slide showing ‘Vanakkam’.

Now with all the money poured in, the ’stars’ and wooden models posing as actors, money spent on advertising and media crying hoarse about how the styling of actors of an upcoming movie was done and how much was spent for a certain costume in the movie, the core of a movie - the story is lost. And the innumerable songs and dramatic style of acting notwithstanding, most B&W movies make me long for the days when story will again become the king in any movie!!

P.S: For a very interesting write-up on S.Balachander, visit this link containing a fond remembrance by his nephew:

http://v-s-gopal.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/04/the-legendary-genius-of-s-balachander-remembrance.htm

Dante’s Equation - When Physics met Judaism!!

When I read Eric Segal’s ‘Acts of Faith’ the first time, I had very little idea about Judaism and Jewish customs. Those were days when I had not yet resorted to searching Wikipedia and other sites for every single thing. And rather than read a treatise on the religion itself, the book gave some insight on one of the oldest religions of the world. It remains one of my favourite novels of all times.

Years later, I came across the 2003 novel Dante’s Equation by Jane Jenson and read about the book before reading the book itself. The back-cover told me that the novel had equal parts science, science fiction and Kabbalah (Jewish mysticism). My curiosity was piqued. I had been reading way too many legal thrillers and murder mysteries and people had started noticing a manic gleam in my eyes recently and I decided to turn a new leaf for a change! The name ‘Dante’ in the title only made my interest stronger. A year back I read a novel called ‘The Dante Club’ by Matthew Pearl and found it a great read. And so I started reading this novel.

The first half of ‘Dante’s Equation’ has 4 parallel threads. Similar to ‘Acts of Faith’, chapter titles refer to the main character of the thread.

a. Denton Wyle - A playboy reporter who works for a magazine called ‘Mysterious World’ in LA. As the name suggests, the magazine runs stories on mysterious occurrences throughout the world. At the time the novel starts, Denton is working on an article on mysterious disappearances all over the world, since he has witnessed one of his brother when he was a child. Denton Wyle is described as a shallow and selfish person who cannot be called a hero in any respect.

b. Aharon Handalman - A rabbi (Jewish priest) and Torah scholar who believes that the Torah has hidden codes in the form of arrays. He is working on identifying recurring patterns and key-words in the Torah to determine secret messages if any with his assistant/student.

c. Jill Talcott, Nate Andros - Dr. Jill Alcott is a physicist who thinks she has made the discovery of a lifetime, by way of discovering a new wave that is capable of altering the surroundings. Her assistant/student Nate is dedicated and is smitten by her but Jill pretends to not notice.

d. Calder Farris - The mandatory villain of the novel. A cold-blooded mercenary working for the US Department of Defense, his primary responsibility is to identify and bring to notice of DoD, advancements in weapons technology from non-mainstream sources like scientists.

Denton Wyle hears about the disappearance of a Jewish physicist called Yosef Kobinski in the Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland during the Holocaust. He also chances upon a few pages of manuscript of a book titled ‘The book of torment’ that Kobinski wrote while in the concentration camp. He goes in search of the remaining pages of the manuscript to understand the reason behind Kobinski’s disappearance.

Rabbi Handalman comes upon quite a few references of Kobinski in the arrays in Torah. Along side the physicist’s name also occur other ominous words like weapon, destruction etc. Rabbi decides to investigate and ends up going to Washington to meet with Jill Talcott.

Jill Talcott and Nate realize that they have discovered something significant after running successful tests with the wave generator. They name the wave one-minus-one. The wave apparently seems to affect the surroundings and Jill surmises that it is because the wave disturbs the fabric of space and time.

Calder Farris finds that Jill Talcott has hit upon something that could possibly be used as a weapon and goes to meet with her. Meanwhile, while increasing the frequency of the wave, Jill falls sick and leaves the lab and the lab is burnt due to a furnace blast in the building.

Rabbi Handalman shows her the pages of Kobinski’s manuscript that he has managed to trace and shows the mathematical equations that Kobinski had written in the manuscript. Apparently Kobinski had already arrived at the wave equation. According to his theory, the wave alters the good or evil quality of a person.

As it usually happens in many movies, all the protogonists of the story end up in Auschwitz and disappear through the black hole. Depending on the nature of the person, they end up in different universes and/or galaxies.

Here onwards, the novel becomes a bit too bizarre for my taste. But that is probably because I do not enjoy fantasies much (LOTR being a rare exception). However, like every good Hollywood/Indian masala movie, all is well that ends well and all of them return to Earth. And even better every character has changed for the better.

The first half of the book is a real page-turner with action happening throughout. I liked the way Jensen linked wave theory and Jewish beliefs. Although multiple threads of narrative run in parallel, clarity is not lost. The characters were all well-etched and fully rounded, i.e., no perfect guy or no rotten-to-the-core guy.

The second half was very well written too, except that I frequently lost interest. For some reason books/movies on aliens, alternate universes etc. have never been of interest to me. In all the books/movies on aliens, human beings tend to project themselves on to the alien’s physiology, mind-set etc. and the limitation of such imagination shows. Aliens are described to be minor variations of a human being, with a torso, upper and lower limbs, all the sense organs etc. It is the same case here. The planets were different - multiple suns, different gravitational forces, different types of animals (still quadrupeds), different ‘languages’ but the aliens were still humanoids!! (I had the same gripe with Avatar too!). But to be fair to the author, she manages to create unique universes and people and troubles and keeps up the pace here too.

The idea of choosing a well-known event in the past, i.e., the Holocaust to represent total evil and thus one of the possible places for the ‘black hole’ was great. It was also interesting that there are many Jewish who believe that the Torah holds many encrypted messages and prophesies and have devoted their lives to its study.

So is this great literature? By no measure !! But it is definitely a good read. A much better piece of fiction than, say, Dan Brown’s best-seller ‘The Da Vinci Code’, since although it uses religion and religious beliefs as the back-drop, at no point does it ridicule them. Instead the novel treads a safe path by showing a common meeting point for the two.

The Unspoken Word

They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Words, when effectively employed supposedly are very potent, capable of overthrowing governments and changing lives. How relevant this saying is in today’s world of ‘Sensational Headlines’ that hold the readers’ attention for less than a day, is debatable.

But think of the common person’s life, where pens figure rarely. After all, the most basic form of slander - gossip requires no pen/keyboard to start or spread! Think of at least 5 instances from your past where you fought with a friend/relative. What sparked the argument/quarrel? Do you remember everything that was said by you or the other person or do some words stick out in particular?

Think of your role as a person who cast aspersions instead of the usual thought of being victimized. Are you able to recollect a word that you spoke before thinking about its impact and wished later you had never spoken? Or one that triggered so many more words that the whole memory of its utterance lies buried in your subconscious?

So, what exactly am I trying to say here? (Thanks for staying with me till here and trusting me to actually say something!). Here is my theory. I think that silences at the right times are way more powerful than words. And I am not talking only about quarrels/arguments with loved ones. Silences are mighty useful in a lot of other scenarios. Sample these:

a. When you cannot think of anything witty enough to say, silence, accompanied by a knowing smile is construed as depth of character (Experience speaks).

b. Silence in response to a person who is shouting his/her head off, is seen as a sign of emotional maturity and the speaker (shouter?!?) feels admonished without being told anything.

c. Maintaining silence when nasty comments are made about others in gossip sessions, ensures that you never have to eat back your words in the future.

d. Remaining silent when your manager badgers you and tries to force you to agree to do something that you don’t want to do, says NO louder than words do (after the first verbal ‘No’ of course - again this is from experience).

If you have to speak, here is what some great people have said about speech in general. And the last one is superb!

‘Iniya ulavaga innadha kooral kani iruppak kaai kavarndhatru’- Tiruvalluvarl in Tirukural

(Using harsh words when sweet words are available, is like seeking an unripe fruit when a ripe one is available).

‘Aisi baani biliye mann ka aapa khoy

Auran ko seetal karey, aapahu seetal hoi’ - Kabir

(Speak words that make the sorrows of the heart go away - Words that please others and please you too)

And on the power of the Unspoken word, by my favourite poet/lyricist Kannadasan :

‘Sollada sollukku vilayedum illai’ - from the song ‘Naan pesa ninaipathellam’

(The unspoken words are priceless)!!

All Hail the Unspoken Word!!

The (in)considerate Indian

The lady looked very familiar. She smiled, and I smiled back, hoping she would not come and try to start the conversation! Not that I did not like her or anything, it was simply that I could not seem to remember her name. Thankfully, the person she was speaking to did not pause and I got out still trying to recollect.

She used to sit next to me when I was out of a project and waiting to leave to the US for the next assignment. She would tell me her troubles with her previous manager and the hurdles she was facing within the company in spite of being a good performer. I remembered all these things, but her name was still a mystery.

Two days later I found her talking to the next desk neighbour, with whom I exchanged smiles every morning, but had no idea of her name, designation etc. I then turned to my screen hoping she would not stop by to say Hi, to continue with my work (which in this case, refers to deep thought while looking at the laptop monitor, browsing random sites, checking mails and other ultra-important tasks). Luck, I learnt, does not favour the same person twice. She stopped at my desk and said Hi.

‘Hi, how are you? I thought you were in the US?’ I said.

‘I returned a few months back. You are Rathi, right? How are you?’, she said.

‘Great’ (conversations should always end here. Responding with a ‘Great’ with nothing else following usually hints at lack of topics or talent to sustain the small talk. Alas, not every body seems to know about this!!)

She showed no sign of moving away. So I asked her a few more questions about her, but not before confessing with a stupid-me-I-forgot grin (the ugliest possible one) that I could not recollect her name.

Then came the question (finally I am getting to the part which may justify the post title somewhat).

‘So are you married now?’ she asked.

‘No’ I said. Why give more information than asked for?

‘Oh!! You told me a few years back that you were not interested. You mean you have not yet changed your mind?!’ she asked.

‘No’ I said (reason mentioned above). I also gave my second ugly grin which meant that I considered these questions as invasion into my privacy, that I resented it but I was too polite to tell her.

‘So are you planning to go on site again?’ I asked. I thought I was gently trying to steer the conversation away from the topic.

‘I am looking for opportunities’ she said. But her eyes had taken on a strange light. And she was grinning at me in a stupid manner. It looked exactly like the look on my face when I saw Circus freaks doing something funny. (Let us leave the logic of how I would know how my face looked at that time for now).

She was still looking at me like I was a freak or something. And I was trying to look away, at my laptop, at the wall - anything to show that to me the conversation had ended.

She was made of sterner stuff.

Out of the blue, she asked ‘Don’t you feel lonely?’.

‘Please leave me alone’, I wanted to say. Instead I answered with my favourite response - ‘No’.

Since she did not respond, but kept giving me that are-you-real look with a stupid smile, I explained that I lived with my parents and obviously did not feel lonely.

I then asked her if she was married and if her husband had accompanied her to US. She said she was gone for a year and a half by herself since her husband had his own business here. Fancy asking me if I was lonely since I was single!!

I continued talking about my job and asked her a few questions about hers. And she responded with another weird question.

‘Do you do any social service etc. to keep yourselves engaged?’

I am really proud to say that even at this question and implicit suggestion that women remain single because they want to serve the society and mankind or because they have old invalid parents to take care of or because they are self-sacrificing martyrs, I managed to reign in my temper and answered politely that I hardly got time to get involved in any such thing on a regular basis.

Finally she took leave after making me promise to stay in touch (you wish!!) and send her emails, even if they were forwards. I am sure that had she had a camera with her, she would have clicked a few photos to show her friends about this new museum specimen.

Have you noticed how marriage is a favourite topic for Indians? That is one topic on which we do not mind showering our advice on friends, relatives and strangers alike. I think this trait is common among Indians than people of any other country. Some quick examples from my autobiography (which I intend to publish after I do something worthwhile besides write useless blog posts and browsing useless sites).

a. A friend who has no idea whether I am alive or dead and never bothers to find out till I call her once in a few years, when I am in the US, who thinks it is her duty as a friend who is older than me by a few months, how important it is that I should get married. I have repeatedly threatened to put the phone down and told her without mincing words that my life was my business.

b. A 50-60 year old Indian that I met in the Newark airport struck up a conversation (only because my mother was with me and she is extremely social). Within 5 min of getting introduced, he asked me if I was married and on hearing my response, thought it was ok to advise my mother to get me married off!

c. I had just returned from onsite once and my mother introduced me to our new maid-servant (about 50-60 years old). She looked at me critically and asked if I was the one who refused to marry and promptly told me that I was wrong and that I should change my mind.

d. A colleague I met at on-site during one of my visits started talking to me soon after he came to know that I was from Chennai. Within 5 minutes he wanted to know why I wasn’t married and whether it was because of love failure. He even offered to link me up with some of his weird friends who were still single!

e. The parents of a prospective bride for my brother had visited to check out the size of our house, our family etc a few years back. The mother supposedly asked my mother why I was not married and later checked with my relative if I suffered from any disease.

These are just examples that I could recollect. Numerous other relatives, friends (most irritating considering their age) and neighbours of the former groups jump in to give free advice on the evils of being single. The funny part is none of these people are even concerned how I live or what I do. Their duty will end with seeing people around them happily or otherwise married, and later bear children.

What is this fixation with others marriage and personal lives? I sometimes think that Indians as such, love to see single people married soon and married people bear children immediately after. We are born matchmakers and we concern ourselves with others’ problems more than our own.

Thankfully I am past the age where I find these people irritating. I am happy that at least for a few moments I am able to get them out of their humdrum lives by providing some entertainment (as a freak) and give them a feeling of being kind and responsible people who only want good things for single girls/women around them.