Absence makes the heart grow fonder !

Ever tried fasting for a day?
Ok, forget fasting, ever felt hungry when there is just an hour left to head back home?
Am I the only weird one or are there other weirdos who feel some amount of satisfaction reading recipes and looking at pictures of food, especially when one is very hungry?
Why am I writing about all this? I wanted to talk about an amazing invention of the Indians. No, I am not talking about spirituality or the number zero. I am talking about something simpler than that. I am talking about the queen/king (former if you are a feminist and the latter for those who dont care !) of tiffins - Idli !!
Most of us do not appreciate things that are easily available to us. Also there is the other idiom - Familiarity breeds contempt ! (I am full of idioms today !!). Most of us from the south of India (’Madrasis’ for those who are not !), grow up eating idlis from a very young age. Idli is prescribed for infants who are just starting on solid food. As a result of this, we grow up with a sort of dislike and disregard for the idlis. We take them for granted and we do not appreciate the greatness of this amazing food !
In fact, I have heard a lot of south indians stating vehemently that they HATE idlis ! For some reason, most of us seem to prefer the close cousin of idli - the dosas, probably because of the different sizes, shapes and flavours that they come in.
It was when I moved out of India for about 2 years and was deprived of this amazing tiffin, that I grew to appreciate the amazing taste of idli. The respect for the master idli-makers grew manifold when I embarked on the task myself. The fermentation process of the batter, which seemed like an ordinary thing, in India, now commanded a lot of respect in remote Rhode Island !
In India, my mother would place the batter in the fridge soon after preparing it, so that it does not ferment too much. She would casually make the batter in the morning and it would ferment in 5-6 hours and we could have delicious idlis by evening. And here, I had to put it in the oven for atleast 24 hours to get a decent tasting idli. Sometimes, my jackets and fleece blankets, instead of providing warmth to me, would be wrapped around the container with the batter, to help it ferment ! Such was the care the batter demanded.
Chapathis have their equivalents in the Mexican tortillas, Pooris are similar to Chalupas (again mexican); even dosas have their counterparts in the western pancakes. Idli seems to be unique in that respect. I have not found a similar type of dish made in other parts of the world. The closest I saw was some sort of steamed bread in the Burmese cuisine !
Idlis are tasty, less expensive (in Indians restaurants) and healthy. Enter any tiny restaurant in the south and you are sure to find amazing idlis there. Eat them with sambar or coconut chutney, tomato chutney or mint chutney. My favourite, though, is the molagai podi (spiced lentil powder) with oil. Coming to think of it, there is no dish that resembles the idli or the molagai podi anywhere in world !
Apart from the regular idlis, there are many more varieties - the spicy and rich Kanchipuram Idli (that has black pepper, cumin seeds, ginger etc and needs no side dish), Rava idlis (again very rich, with spices, cashews etc) etc. Restaurants also named idlis after actresses like Khushboo idli - fat like the namesake and tasteless (wonder what they meant by naming the idli after her - do they mean she is fat and cant act ??!!). Ambassodor idlis, later called mini-idlis and now popularly known as 14 idlis, have 14 tiny idlis floating in a bowl of sambar.
As always, the other side of the pasture is always greener. So poor south indians try hard to make chapathis, adding lots of oil to it and making a side dish that always has every possible spice to make it taste authentic ! So also, the north indians are still in search of the perfect recipe for Idli and sambar !
Some of my best idlies (is that the plural form ??) were had in Chennai restaurants - Sangeetha, Saravana bhavan, Ratna Cafe, Geetha cafe etc. Ratna Cafe in Triplicane, is known for their great tasting idlies and better tasting sambar. It is a normal practice to walk into one of these numerour restaurants and to order a plate of idli and eat that with a bucketful of sambar. The extra cups of sambar are free and people dont hesitate to make maximum use of this policy ! Of course, there was nothing to beat the idlis made at home !
My worst idli experience was when I went to Kedarnath and Badrinath. Tired of eating phulkas all the time, some of my fellow tourists spotted a tiny joint that had idlis on their menu. I warned them, but they did not heed to my advice and proceeded to order idlis for all of us. The idlis were terrible, but worse was the sambar ! Once again, respect for the idli makers grew in my heart when I realized that making idlis is no child’s play.
I could go on and on about idlis. If I could write poems, I would dedicate an entire book of poems to idlis! Now why am I writing this? Because I still had 1/2 an hour to go before lunch time and thinking of idlis, seems to bring down the hunger just a little bit. Like I said in the first paragraph, I am one of those weirdos who seems to derive the satisfaction of eating the dish, just by reading its recipe or by reading about it.
Its time for lunch. I know what my lunchbox holds and it is definitely not idlis !! Those who are eating idlis, you may have a stomach ache* because I envy you !!
*It is a superstition in Tamilnadu, that when someone eyes you eating something, with envy, you suffer from stomach ache later !!

I am ok, you are not ok !

Think about it twice before you answer this question:

When was the last time you were genuinely happy for a friend's/relative's success, given that the following conditions are true:

a. He/She is about the same age as you;

b. He/She started off his career or life along with you

c. He/She is as good/bad as you in terms of knowledge, skills etc;

d. His/Her recent success will put him/her miles ahead of you.

Are you sure your answer is honest?

Are you sure that you were 'genuinely happy' for the person and not even a tiny bit of jealousy was present in your mind when you heard the news?

Are you sure your immediate response was not 'That bugger is lucky ! I remember, when we used to work together he always used to screw up !' or some such wonderful thing?

I have seen this phenomenon in a lot of people. To like a person, he/she has to be in an inferior position or should have always been better than you all along. In fact, we seem to be happy or at least neutral towards success stories of people whom we have never considered our competitors.

Frankly only when you hear the news and feel a tinge of disappointment, do you realize that you have been considering that person your competition all along.

There are others who learn about your weaknesses and try to exaggerate them. If, for instance, you mention a minor quarrel with your wife/husband, they will listen to it quietly and make it sound like you are heading towards a divorce when they speak to the next person. The other type of people simply wait for the next opportunity and in a supposedly casual manner talk about how loving their spouse is and how they never quarrel !

I am always scared of people who start their sentence with 'Poor X' etc, since that is just an indication that they are rejoicing in the person's troubles or they are going to speak ill of the person -

'Poor X, his wife is so quarrelsome. Even though he is successful in his business and makes a lot of money, he has no peace at home !' (Meaning : 'So he thinks he is a big shot huh !! His wife is a demoness and he deserves her !! Now let me see what he will do with his money !)

or 'Poor X, he tries really hard to become a good singer but he is not able to' (Meaning : 'X's singing sucks !!')

There are some others who love to hear only about themselves. So either you talk good about them or they will do it themselves. The minute you start talking about your success or the appreciation you get etc, you will find such people losing interest and trying to change the topic of discussion.

Why do we compare? Why is success always relative? A person I know, switched to a new job and was overjoyed with his new pay, since it was 50% more than he was earning previously. The happiness however was short-lived and vanished the minute he heard about another friend who got a 60% increase ! He then did not take up his offer !

What had changed? His increase was still 50% more than what he was currently drawing. He would still end up making more money. Then why the disappointment?

I have seen people who have improved financially and their standing in the family circles falling soon after. We love to sympathize with those below us, but we hate it when they come up !

There are many things we have that millions of others cannot even dream of. Why then do we worry about what we do not have and hate people for having them? Why not count our blessings, which are many, rather than curse fate for not giving us more?

Have you met Aamir Khan or Shahrukh Khan in real life?

Ok, That was just a cheap ploy to make you read my post !! This post is not about the film stars !! It is about teachers !!

Remember Kabir Khan (Shahrukh), the spirited sports coach in ‘Chak De India’ or Ram Shankar Nikumbh (Aamir) - the sympathetic Art teacher in ‘Taare Zameen Par’! Did you sigh, like I did, and wished you had an equally passionate teacher when you were at school?

I wonder whether such teachers exist only in the reel-life. During my school days and college days, I did not find a single teacher of fine-arts or sports, who were passionate about what they taught or even bothered to ‘teach’ anything ! For some sad reason, most people who take up ‘Physical Education’ or Fine Arts as their vocation, take it up only because they do not get admission in any other course of their choice.

The sports teachers I encountered in school and college were uniformly very harsh and violent with students. I was fairly popular in school in academics and other co-curricular activities, but when it came to sports, I was more comfortable cheering those who play from outside the field, than actually participating in the sport. I was sure I would fail and I hated to fail. The PT teachers in school did not help much !

Our Sports periods usually went like this. The master would make us run around the huge field and would then hand over a volley-ball to the girls and a foot-ball to the boys. We were then let free to play. I dont remember a single class where anyone actually bothered to teach us a new sport or the rules of the sport. The sports teacher at school, was a particularly mean man, who terrified all the students and many teachers too. He would term all girls as idiots and would get physical with students at the slightest excuse.

I still remember an episode when he beat up my younger brother, then 8 years old, black and blue, because the teacher’s son got hurt when he was playing with my brother. The man did not bother to ask for details but got really violent and hit the poor kid and my brother came to me crying. He was apparently kicked by the man and had the shoe-mark on his forehead. My sister was in the same school and all of us went home crying.

We were from an ordinary middle-class family. My parents were gentle, law-abiding people, who rarely raised their hands on us. This incident came as a shock to them and they immediately complained to the principal of the school. Unfortunately, our school was a government school and suffered from the same issues that any government organization suffered from. The principal asked my parents to take it easy. He said he had received many complaints in the past about the teacher, but there was nothing he could do, since the man was popular in the ‘Union’ and if we pressed the issue any harder, he would simply say that we had used the name of his caste (We had no idea what it was!) and would send US to jail !! All the teachers were in tears when they described what happened to my parents and admitted that none of them could stop this man when he was beating up the little boy.

Very few incidents have shaken me so much! This happened many years ago, but I still cannot sleep some nights thinking of this man, probably because we were impotent and had to suffer injustice meekly at that time. I have suffered a lot of humiliation from him in front of the whole school, and till this date, I do not know what I did to cause so much hatred towards me, a kid who was a couple of years older than his own son.

The sports teachers I met before him and after him, were not as beastly as this man, or maybe I did not have them as teachers for as long a period as this man. Yet, those that I still remember were still violent men. The boys in the class were the worst sufferers. They would get beaten up for the smallest of reasons ! These people were partly responsible for my complete lack of interest in any outdoor sports !

Our art teacher was no less. His anger was not directed against any single student, but was towards mankind !! When he was in a mood, he would sketch something on the black board and would ask us to copy it down. We were to then submit our drawing notebooks and he would correct the sketches. No instructions on brush/pen strokes, colour combinations and mixing, nothing at all about techniques. When he was not in a mood, he would ask us to read whatever we wanted, while he worked on some work from outside the school that fetched more money ! The only condition was that we had to be completely silent. One murmur from anyone and he would start hitting that person.

Our music teacher was a little better. She would teach us some new songs every class, but never bothered to teach us any voice-culture techniques or ways to improve our singing abilities. But she was better than the other teachers. At least she would not hit us at the slightest provocation.

Our crafts teacher, would teach some stitches and ask us to stitch them on a piece of white cloth. I hated the class even more because the boys in our class had a class on electronics instead of this stupid class. I would usually give my cloth to one of my friends and ask them to do mine too :). This teacher too, would rarely smile.

These days, I hear about stray incidents about harsh teachers, which, compared to what we went through in school, seem almost gentle! But the awareness of the parents has increased and the teachers cannot vent out their frustrations on their poor students any more, or at least that is how it appears to be. Again, this is probably true in private educational institutions, where the parents consider themselves as consumers and demand better treatment because of what they pay the school. I am not sure if things are better than before, in the public schools in India.

Why is it that the number of passionate teachers in non-academic areas is much lower than those in the academic subjects? Is it because of the dearth of opportunities for such fields in the outside world?

What causes so much anger in such people? How can they vent out their frustrations on poor helpless children? Are these children responsible for their careers (or lack of it)? Shouldn’t teachers inspire the students to take up the teaching as their vocation? Are there Kabir Khans and Nikumbhs out in the real world? Have you met one?