My friend was narrating an incident last week. He is a typical middle-class guy. He was driving to work one day. One of the roads near his house is quite narrow and at any point in time, two 4-wheelers can pass with a little difficulty. Since there is no divider in between, traffic conditions on this road are necessarily dependent on self-discipline of the drivers on the road. So my friend was waiting behind a line-up of cars and other vehicles, while another car was trying to enter the road from the other side. An auto-rickshaw zoomed past trying to overtake all the waiting cars and essentially blocking the path for the entering car (from the other side).
My friend was a little annoyed and rolled down his window and asked the auto-driver what he thought he was doing. To this, the auto-driver said that if he hit my friend’s car, he (the auto-driver) would not suffer any damage (because the vehicle was not his), but my friend would end up spending a lot of money in fixing his car!! My friend realized the futility of talking to such a person and rolled up the window while hitting himself on his head for even bothering to talk.
After a lot of chaos, the traffic cleared up and my friend was driving and noticed the auto-driver chasing him. My friend ignored the guy and kept driving. At some point, my friend wanted to take a left turn and he switched on the indicator. The auto-driver drove his vehicle past the car hitting it on the rear bumper and sped away. My friend got down to assess the damage, when the auto-driver, after dropping off his passenger, came back and with a sneer, said to my friend, ‘Now, what do you say?’. What could my friend say? He simply cursed him and said that the country was going down the drain owing to people like him.
I was mulling about this incident almost the entire week. While work was pretty much uninteresting, discussions in the blog site were heating up. I was following some discussions on blogs on whether criticizing/ commenting on language, grammar or content of the blogs was right or wrong. Some obviously unethical practices were followed in one case and when people complained, I saw that the response was in the lines of – ‘Yes, it may be unethical. What can you do about it other than complaining to the admin. I will continue doing this. What will you do then?’. On comments on other posts, people were advised to keep re-publishing their posts till the admin got tired of deleting them.
I know this sounds terribly silly, but these discussions disturbed me to a great extent too. I was wondering about what we the people of this country were becoming!
The last straw came on Friday. I was driving back home. I am usually a fast driver, though very careful on the road. Since I was driving a relatively less familiar car (my brother’s), I was being extra-careful. At a very busy signal, there was a Corolla on my right and a Tempo on my left. When the light turned green, I started moving very slowly, when the Corolla driver decided that he wanted to be on the left and without any warning moved to the left (ahead of me). At the same time, the Tempo driver decided that I was too inconsequential to give way to and decided to move to his right. I had almost brought the car to a stop when the Tempo hit my left rear-view mirror and smashed it to pieces. I followed the Tempo, and when it slowed down at the signal again, rolled down my window and asked him why he had to hit a stationary car. The only answer he gave was ‘Po ma Po ma’ (‘just Go’).
I was thinking of all these incidents and when I entered the house, my eyes welled up before I could tell my mother what happened. My friend who had come to meet with me and was waiting for me, was alarmed on seeing me in tears. He thought I had met with an accident or something. He was even more astonished when I told him what happened. Of course he thought I was being a baby, crying over something as silly as a broken rear-view mirror.
I was beyond myself – not angry at anybody, but extremely troubled at how easily we brush away any criticism about our behaviour. This is just the opposite of what I have been believing all my life – ‘Forgive many things in others, nothing in yourself’. We wax eloquently about how bad and unruly all Indians are etc., and every time we utter something like that, we only mean all Indians except me .
When we complain on general trend of things, we always talk as though we are completely outside the system. We love criticizing someone or something along with everyone else, as long as we are not the ones criticized. We talk about the sportsman spirit, of the need to accept bouquets and brickbats gracefully and so on, because we are on the giving end of the criticism. Switch sides and you know who is being unsporting !! I have experienced this during a few appraisals where my team members, who were beaming while I appreciated their good work, start blaming everything – from the location of the their house to the customer’s attitude, as reasons for their poor performance in some area.
Whether it is the blogspace or the road or the workplace, getting defensive on receiving criticism seems to be the order of the day. I know I cannot change anything with this post, but I sure feel better writing it all down!! After all, I suffer from the middle-class mentality too
My friend was a little annoyed and rolled down his window and asked the auto-driver what he thought he was doing. To this, the auto-driver said that if he hit my friend’s car, he (the auto-driver) would not suffer any damage (because the vehicle was not his), but my friend would end up spending a lot of money in fixing his car!! My friend realized the futility of talking to such a person and rolled up the window while hitting himself on his head for even bothering to talk.
After a lot of chaos, the traffic cleared up and my friend was driving and noticed the auto-driver chasing him. My friend ignored the guy and kept driving. At some point, my friend wanted to take a left turn and he switched on the indicator. The auto-driver drove his vehicle past the car hitting it on the rear bumper and sped away. My friend got down to assess the damage, when the auto-driver, after dropping off his passenger, came back and with a sneer, said to my friend, ‘Now, what do you say?’. What could my friend say? He simply cursed him and said that the country was going down the drain owing to people like him.
I was mulling about this incident almost the entire week. While work was pretty much uninteresting, discussions in the blog site were heating up. I was following some discussions on blogs on whether criticizing/ commenting on language, grammar or content of the blogs was right or wrong. Some obviously unethical practices were followed in one case and when people complained, I saw that the response was in the lines of – ‘Yes, it may be unethical. What can you do about it other than complaining to the admin. I will continue doing this. What will you do then?’. On comments on other posts, people were advised to keep re-publishing their posts till the admin got tired of deleting them.
I know this sounds terribly silly, but these discussions disturbed me to a great extent too. I was wondering about what we the people of this country were becoming!
The last straw came on Friday. I was driving back home. I am usually a fast driver, though very careful on the road. Since I was driving a relatively less familiar car (my brother’s), I was being extra-careful. At a very busy signal, there was a Corolla on my right and a Tempo on my left. When the light turned green, I started moving very slowly, when the Corolla driver decided that he wanted to be on the left and without any warning moved to the left (ahead of me). At the same time, the Tempo driver decided that I was too inconsequential to give way to and decided to move to his right. I had almost brought the car to a stop when the Tempo hit my left rear-view mirror and smashed it to pieces. I followed the Tempo, and when it slowed down at the signal again, rolled down my window and asked him why he had to hit a stationary car. The only answer he gave was ‘Po ma Po ma’ (‘just Go’).
I was thinking of all these incidents and when I entered the house, my eyes welled up before I could tell my mother what happened. My friend who had come to meet with me and was waiting for me, was alarmed on seeing me in tears. He thought I had met with an accident or something. He was even more astonished when I told him what happened. Of course he thought I was being a baby, crying over something as silly as a broken rear-view mirror.
I was beyond myself – not angry at anybody, but extremely troubled at how easily we brush away any criticism about our behaviour. This is just the opposite of what I have been believing all my life – ‘Forgive many things in others, nothing in yourself’. We wax eloquently about how bad and unruly all Indians are etc., and every time we utter something like that, we only mean all Indians except me .
When we complain on general trend of things, we always talk as though we are completely outside the system. We love criticizing someone or something along with everyone else, as long as we are not the ones criticized. We talk about the sportsman spirit, of the need to accept bouquets and brickbats gracefully and so on, because we are on the giving end of the criticism. Switch sides and you know who is being unsporting !! I have experienced this during a few appraisals where my team members, who were beaming while I appreciated their good work, start blaming everything – from the location of the their house to the customer’s attitude, as reasons for their poor performance in some area.
Whether it is the blogspace or the road or the workplace, getting defensive on receiving criticism seems to be the order of the day. I know I cannot change anything with this post, but I sure feel better writing it all down!! After all, I suffer from the middle-class mentality too
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