The Unspoken Word

They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Words, when effectively employed supposedly are very potent, capable of overthrowing governments and changing lives. How relevant this saying is in today’s world of ‘Sensational Headlines’ that hold the readers’ attention for less than a day, is debatable.

But think of the common person’s life, where pens figure rarely. After all, the most basic form of slander - gossip requires no pen/keyboard to start or spread! Think of at least 5 instances from your past where you fought with a friend/relative. What sparked the argument/quarrel? Do you remember everything that was said by you or the other person or do some words stick out in particular?

Think of your role as a person who cast aspersions instead of the usual thought of being victimized. Are you able to recollect a word that you spoke before thinking about its impact and wished later you had never spoken? Or one that triggered so many more words that the whole memory of its utterance lies buried in your subconscious?

So, what exactly am I trying to say here? (Thanks for staying with me till here and trusting me to actually say something!). Here is my theory. I think that silences at the right times are way more powerful than words. And I am not talking only about quarrels/arguments with loved ones. Silences are mighty useful in a lot of other scenarios. Sample these:

a. When you cannot think of anything witty enough to say, silence, accompanied by a knowing smile is construed as depth of character (Experience speaks).

b. Silence in response to a person who is shouting his/her head off, is seen as a sign of emotional maturity and the speaker (shouter?!?) feels admonished without being told anything.

c. Maintaining silence when nasty comments are made about others in gossip sessions, ensures that you never have to eat back your words in the future.

d. Remaining silent when your manager badgers you and tries to force you to agree to do something that you don’t want to do, says NO louder than words do (after the first verbal ‘No’ of course - again this is from experience).

If you have to speak, here is what some great people have said about speech in general. And the last one is superb!

‘Iniya ulavaga innadha kooral kani iruppak kaai kavarndhatru’- Tiruvalluvarl in Tirukural

(Using harsh words when sweet words are available, is like seeking an unripe fruit when a ripe one is available).

‘Aisi baani biliye mann ka aapa khoy

Auran ko seetal karey, aapahu seetal hoi’ - Kabir

(Speak words that make the sorrows of the heart go away - Words that please others and please you too)

And on the power of the Unspoken word, by my favourite poet/lyricist Kannadasan :

‘Sollada sollukku vilayedum illai’ - from the song ‘Naan pesa ninaipathellam’

(The unspoken words are priceless)!!

All Hail the Unspoken Word!!