My failed attempt at becoming a good samaritan !

‘You are so materialistic’, said my friend, when I was gaping at the watches displayed at the store.

‘Well, is gaping at women spiritual?’, I shot back angrily.

The repartee was all very well, but the remark still stung. I had always had this feeling about myself, that I was not doing anything for the society. I was actually very materialistic, thinking about new watches (God, how I love them !!) or new clothes. If not shopping, all I was interested in was books, music, cooking - anything that did not involve people !!

So I jumped at the first chance I got to display my hidden altruism. I had heard of people donating blood every year. Hell, my own brother and sister, both younger than me had donated blood at least once. And here I was, always talking about it, dreaming about how I would have a pleasant smile on my face and donate blood every year on my birthday (as if I was a film star !!), but never once actually donating !

My first chance came in my previous company. There was a group mail from some employee, whose friend’s father was to undergo a major bypass surgery that evening. Donors, of any bloodgroup were required. I realized that my chance had come, called my parents about my good act for the day and set off to Vijaya hospital with the colleague, who had sent the mail.

Things were simpler than expected. The nurses did some preliminary tests and did not find me wanting - meaning they said I was healthy enough to donate (you didn’t have to run any tests to see that I was healthy, you just had to take one look at me !). Well there I was on the bed, happily donating blood and joking with the nurses. They thought I was handling things quite well and told me so. After the donation was the usual snack time. Some biscuits and very sour Tropicana orange juice. The nurses told me to take some rest, for about 1/2 an hour before leaving.

I sat for some time, felt okay and started to leave. Everyone asked me if I was sure and I said I felt just fine. My colleague offered to drop me off and we started walking towards the parking lot. My colleague walked fast and I was following him.

I suddenly realized that I was not walking fast enough. I was feeling cold but still sweating (I am talking about Chennai, so you know that feeling cold at any time of the year is abnormal). I felt the ground beneath me slipping away and thought my legs were slowly melting. I staggered to the reception area and collapsed into a chair. I was trying hard to keep my eyes open, but simply could not. I was retching over and over. That was the first time in my life, that I thought of death. This was probably how people felt when they were about to die, I thought. But that thought was too feeble for me to pursue.

People suffering near-death experiences often talk about seeing a white light and about seeing their entire life replayed like a movie. I did not feel any such thing, so I was probably still alive. The next thing I know, I was back in the blood donation room, with a couple of nurses around me and my legs raised as if in some weird yoga posture. The same colleague was standing next to me and I started apologizing immediately for having caused so much trouble. They had to arrange for a cab to take me home and I arrived home looking like I had just had a blood transfusion or something ! I had the after-effects for a couple of days when I was feeling dizzy all the time (Is that how people feel when they are drunk? If so, I don’t want to ever drink !!).

Not one to give up easily, I tried my hands at donating blood once again after a year. This time it was for a relative and I was in the hospital. I was psyched out, thanks to my first and very bad experience. This time it was worse- I started feeling weak right at the time of donation (probably my panic caused it too) and my feet and palms were turning cold. And what was worse, I was forced to watch the television, playing some popular lewd song, where the hero and heroine seemed to be sniffing each other. I was disgusted, but was not allowed to close my eyes. I still think that some of my family members probably planned the whole thing out of spite or something !!

Anyway, this time I rested for the stipulated amount of time, ate what was given and then left for home. After reaching home, I told my mother that I would have lunch a little later and went upstairs to bed. I was feeling okay and then went into the bathroom, when hell broke loose. I started fainting again and fell inside the room. My mother, who was downstairs could not hear me and I staggered to the top of the stairs (now that scene reminds me of the song ‘O Priya Priya’ !!) and managed to call my mother. Not only that, I somehow dragged myself to the bed, managed to put some pillows below my feet to keep my legs raised and then fainted (how courageous of me !!). Once again, calls from all my relatives, asking me if I was ok, instead of calling up the relative who went through the bypass. Oh, the humiliation I had to endure due to the entire episode !!

Later my mother told me that she had suffered such problems too. The first time she went to donate blood, she fainted on seeing the blood. The second time, she went with my brother and sister, she fainted on seeing them donate blood and never had to donate at all !! So I guess, it is in my blood (pun unintended). The very thought of donating blood gives me cold feet (again pun not intended !). My salute to those who can do it without flinching over and over again. For now, I am trying to think of a simpler and less humiliating way of showcasing my kindheartedness !!

Disclaimer : The above are only my experiences and do not necessarily represent common reactions to blood donation.