Read thy listener !

Do you have the habit of looking at a person in the eye while speaking?
Do you notice obvious and not so obvious signs that the listener sends out when you talk?
Are you considered a good public speaker or a good conversationalist? Or do people try to avoid you like the plague ?
It’s a wonder how much you can learn about a person by merely listening to them actively, not just to their words, but to their signs. A shift in the eye, a mannerism that is obsessively followed during a conversation, the posture they maintain etc - these actions speak much more than what you actually hear the person saying.
You don’t have to be an expert in body language to understand what the person is trying to convey. A lot of things can be picked up by simply looking around you! Human beings are an interesting species - they have many ways of letting people know how they feel about things! All you need is a careful eye and the ability to shut up and observe once in a while!
When you are talking to a person, two things need to happen in parallel - talking and watching for signs of boredom in the other person. If the person is looking away once in a while, has a glaze over his eyes when you talk or responds with a lame 'Hmm.. yeah.. I agree' etc, its time for you to stop your sermon and let him talk for some time.
Some of us (Most of us), are too much in love with ourselves and our own voice and often do not know when to stop. It is a good idea to then trust the body language of the listener before proceeding and stop earlier than later. Much as we noble souls want to lavish our thoughts on the common folk, we need to understand that other nobler souls would want to have their share of time too. After all upliftment of the world is everybody's responsibility, isn't it?
Some of us have the habit of launching into conversations on topics that interest only a select few in the group, oblivious to the fact that the remaining people in the group have no clue what we are talking about and are not interested in knowing it either. I remember a particular 3-way telephone conversation with my friends in the US. I had never watched the 'Friends' sitcom till then and these two launched into an hour long conversation, with me listening to them, on the lives of the characters. Mind you, they did not start with introducing the characters or the story to me, but discussed as if I did not exist!
I have seen this happen with a lot of people and have myself been guilty of this crime many times! I try hard not to and steer the conversation away to neutral topics that will interest the rest of the crowd, because I know the pain of being a mute spectator during such conversations!
Much as I can talk about watching out for other people's reactions and non-verbal signals when we talk, I personally seem to have trouble giving out the right signals that mean 'Shut up, I am bored!’. All my attempts at such reactions have only made the speaker launch another boring anecdote about him.
My first landlord in the US was an old man who would drive down during the beginning of every month from Maine to collect his rent from me. His accent aided with his toothlessness would drive me completely crazy and add to it the fact that he was actually very very boring, and you now have an idea of my situation. I would dread his visits and he, in all probabilities, simply rejoiced in his heart to have found sympathetic ears to pour out his heart's feelings about life, the universe and everything! The worst part was that I did not have chairs or a couch at my apartment and the entire sermon would be handed down standing near the door.
He would talk about India (or what he thought was India!!), US, President Bush, the Iraq war. You would think it was the PM of India and the President of the United States talking about the sorry state of affairs in both countries! In this case, it was the US President, who would go on and on and on and the Indian PM (me) would remain a mute listener. Just when I thought he had finished airing his views on this topic he would quickly jump to a different topic and the end never seemed in sight. Although my entire contribution to the conversations was limited to 'Yeah' 'Oh Ok!' etc, he seemed as happy as he had heard an hour long speech from me.
I tried a lot of tricks - looking away in between, turning to the stove and pretending I had work to do, praying desperately for the phone to ring etc, nothing seemed to stop him. I even tried prearranging with my friend to call me at that time so that I could tell this man that I had an important call and get away from him, but he politely told me he was ready to wait till I finished !! Every 1st day of the month then was a nightmare that I had to go through all by myself.
I have a sinister feeling that God has wired me all wrong. When I try to look bored and distracted, I actually seem to look sympathetic and interested. When I want to say 'Stop that', I seem to be saying 'Go on! I am listening, I am with you!!' Since I have suffered in the hands of such verbal tyrants so much, I know the importance of sounding interesting. That is probably the reason I choose to be quiet during most conversations, choosing to instead listen and work on my non-verbal signals!!