I am ok, you are not ok !

Think about it twice before you answer this question:

When was the last time you were genuinely happy for a friend's/relative's success, given that the following conditions are true:

a. He/She is about the same age as you;

b. He/She started off his career or life along with you

c. He/She is as good/bad as you in terms of knowledge, skills etc;

d. His/Her recent success will put him/her miles ahead of you.

Are you sure your answer is honest?

Are you sure that you were 'genuinely happy' for the person and not even a tiny bit of jealousy was present in your mind when you heard the news?

Are you sure your immediate response was not 'That bugger is lucky ! I remember, when we used to work together he always used to screw up !' or some such wonderful thing?

I have seen this phenomenon in a lot of people. To like a person, he/she has to be in an inferior position or should have always been better than you all along. In fact, we seem to be happy or at least neutral towards success stories of people whom we have never considered our competitors.

Frankly only when you hear the news and feel a tinge of disappointment, do you realize that you have been considering that person your competition all along.

There are others who learn about your weaknesses and try to exaggerate them. If, for instance, you mention a minor quarrel with your wife/husband, they will listen to it quietly and make it sound like you are heading towards a divorce when they speak to the next person. The other type of people simply wait for the next opportunity and in a supposedly casual manner talk about how loving their spouse is and how they never quarrel !

I am always scared of people who start their sentence with 'Poor X' etc, since that is just an indication that they are rejoicing in the person's troubles or they are going to speak ill of the person -

'Poor X, his wife is so quarrelsome. Even though he is successful in his business and makes a lot of money, he has no peace at home !' (Meaning : 'So he thinks he is a big shot huh !! His wife is a demoness and he deserves her !! Now let me see what he will do with his money !)

or 'Poor X, he tries really hard to become a good singer but he is not able to' (Meaning : 'X's singing sucks !!')

There are some others who love to hear only about themselves. So either you talk good about them or they will do it themselves. The minute you start talking about your success or the appreciation you get etc, you will find such people losing interest and trying to change the topic of discussion.

Why do we compare? Why is success always relative? A person I know, switched to a new job and was overjoyed with his new pay, since it was 50% more than he was earning previously. The happiness however was short-lived and vanished the minute he heard about another friend who got a 60% increase ! He then did not take up his offer !

What had changed? His increase was still 50% more than what he was currently drawing. He would still end up making more money. Then why the disappointment?

I have seen people who have improved financially and their standing in the family circles falling soon after. We love to sympathize with those below us, but we hate it when they come up !

There are many things we have that millions of others cannot even dream of. Why then do we worry about what we do not have and hate people for having them? Why not count our blessings, which are many, rather than curse fate for not giving us more?